I want to preface this blog entry by saying that I don't think what I'm going to write will be all that interesting. I am still not sure yet where I am going with this blog. So far, I am telling my story chronologically. I had originally thought about just telling a stories about something that happened in my life for each blog entry. I think though, that the stories will make more sense if my readers have a idea of where I was in my life at the time of the story and what had come before. Comments on this would be very helpful.
I left New Orleans in the spring of 1978 for Modesto, California. This was where I had gone to high school and where my mother still lived. I had planned on living with her while I went to school. I had managed to salvage the GI bill that my commanding officer had tried to take away from the with his threat of a dishonorable discharge, but it wasn't enough money to pay for school and provide living expenses. As it turned out, I wasn't able to live with my mother. At the time she had live in boyfriend who didn't care for the idea that I was transitioning. That meant I had to find a job. Finding a job in Modesto in 1978 was not the easiest thing to do. The only place that was willing to hire me, was an adult movie theater as a cashier. I don't really have any interesting stories about working there. Well, there was the one time that an 18 year old, red headed, freckle faced boy who looked like he was 12 (I had to card him), came in and you could see he was wearing black lingerie under his t-shirt.
I went two Modesto Junior College. Instead of going as "Patrick", I went as "Pat." The administration knew my gender, but my professors did not. This was my first experience with, what some in the transgender community refer to as "stealth mode." I took great pains to not get to close to other students so they wouldn't find out about me. I was 24 and most of them were 18 or 19, so it wasn't too hard. I did tell a few people and my professor in my drama class after a few weeks and even though I was scared to death of rejection, they were actually supportive. Theater is very intimate. It was very hard to be stealth.
Any of you who have been to college realize that your first year is basically general education courses. I signed up for those and drama classes well. I had been out of school for 6 years by this time, and I had a very hard time being interested in anything other than my human sexual behavior class and drama. Plus, I was working 32 hours a week and going to school full time. You have a lot of extra curricular things with drama, and I was exhausted most of the time.
The biggest problem I had as far as drama class went, was my suitability for roles. At 6 feet tall and 250 lbs., I could hardly play and ingenue. So the only thing that was left for me, were character roles. My drama teacher did tell me that one of the things that she enjoyed about me was my enthusiasm. She said usually she had to work to get her students to project. I was one of the few students that she had work to get to project less. It seems I always had a big mouth.
I did not do well that first semester of college. I barely managed to pass all of my classes with the exception of my drama class in which I got in "A". I got a "B" in my human sexual behavior class and an "A" on my final paper which was about the different terms for homosexuality! I hadn't learned the hanky code yet, or I would have added it to the paper and spiced it up a little.
Working, trying to go to school, and being so absorbed in my own head trying to figure out how in the hell I was going to get enough money for surgery made my life pretty difficult. Other than the few kids in drama class that I had confided in, I had no social life. Dating was definitely not an option, although I probably got hit on by every kind of creepy guy that came to the adult theater.
On a visit to San Francisco while I was still in the Navy and home in Modesto on leave, I was introduced to David Petras, who owned San Francisco Trucking Company. After I moved back to Modesto, I visited David in San Francisco several times. There was no romance, but we had become good friends. When I told him the problems I was having dealing with school, he offered me a job running his office. He also offered me a place to stay. He had a three bedroom apartment about two blocks north of Market and Castro street. That was a really interesting neighborhood in 1978. His office was in the apartment.
While I was working for David, I found out about Stanford University Medical Center's Gender Dysphoria Clinic in Palo Alto, California. I went for an initial visit, where they gave me the name of an endocrinologist near me in San Francisco and also provided me with the necessary paperwork to take to the Department of Motor Vehicles and Social Security to get a driver's license and a Social Security card in my female name. My mother and I came up with the name together.
My birth name was Patrick William and wanted something to keep my same initials. Mom said originally, if I had been a girl, she was going to name me Patricia Anne. I told her I understood the Patricia, by why "Anne?" "That's it," she cried! Wyanne for a middle name. Patricia Wyanne had the same initials and amount of letters as Patrick William did, so it stuck. I thought it was pretty cool that my mother gave me my female name!
I went to the endocrinologist initially for hormone therapy. She had some previous knowledge of Klinefelter's syndrome and how it presented physically in patients and thought there might be a good possibility that I had it. She did a chromosome structure on me and sure enough, I was XXY.
Business at San Francisco Trucking Company was enough to keep David busy, as at that time he only had one truck. It wasn't enough to keep me busy. I decided I wanted to strike out on my own and get a job as a woman. So I answered an ad in the newspaper and went two work for Toyomenka America, a Japanese based company that had offices worldwide. And worked as a secretary. I had no trouble passing as a woman. It was a bit interesting having so many short Asian men looking up at my 6 foot blond bombshell beauty!
During this time, I was still regularly speaking with Carrie Nye Cavett. I had really loved drama class in college and had a really strong drive to pursue something in theater. I also had then I even thought, that Dick Cavett and Carrie Nye could help me if I went to New York. I don't remember for sure what my thinking at the time was, and that it must've been along the lines of not wanting to warn them that I was coming thinking that maybe they would try to dissuade me. However, if I actually showed up there, I was sure that they would help me.
So many times I think back to those days and see how much my judgment was clouded by being so obsessed about having gender affirmation surgery, which in those days we call a sex change. I like gender affirmation surgery better. I wish now that I had stayed in college did whenever it was that I needed to do to get my degree. But, you cannot live your life full of regret. Hindsight is always 2020 and many of the experiences I had in my life I might not have had if that was the road I had gone down.
I would go back to school one more time after having surgery. At that time I was 29 years old and going to school with a bunch of 19 and 20 year olds was difficult. At school, I had learned the new technology of word processing and during summer vacation, I took a temporary position working for an attorney at a title insurance company. After one day of working for her, she offered me a fulltime job with a decent salary and that benefit. I was done with college.
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